My birthday is in 8 days. If you know me, you know that I LOVE a birthday. We have cake for breakfast, we do whatever the birthday person wants. Hell, on Oliver’s birthday, we go to a parade! Perk of sharing your birthday with good ol USA. I even celebrate half birthdays and fictional character’s birthdays. I know when my favorite celebrity’s birthdays are and the day my favorite album came out.
My last two birthdays were the best that I can remember. I turned 30 sitting nearly front row at a Coldplay concert with my bff Diana. I turned 31 relaxing on soft sand on Hilton Head Island with my soul sister Audra. But this year…I’ll turn 32 sitting in my freezing cold office. I’ll probably be lied to 400 times that day. I’ll probably have to decompress extensively on my way home. I’ll pick up my kids from Nonni’s and have to come home and make dinner and do the shower/bedtime routine that has become more daunting as times goes on. Cry me a river, right?
So to make my birthday somewhat meaningful this year, I’m going to share a lesson I’ve learned every day until I turn 32. (And yes, the title of this post is 7 lessons and my birthday is in 8 days but let’s be honest…I’ll probably skip at least one day of posting…just giving myself a little wiggle room.)
Lesson 1: Don’t be afraid to set it all on fire.
I know that I joke a lot about setting my life on fire. But that’s basically what I’ve had to do in the last year. I had to burn it all down in order to come back to who I am. I built this life and it mostly wasn’t what I wanted at all. And then I learned that I’d been lied to for the previous nearly 2 years. Whatever it was that I had wasn’t real anyway. It might have been real at one point but it was far from real now. So I had to set it on fire. I threw away what I thought my life would look like. I set the stay at home mom life on fire. I set the comfort on fire. I set the routine, and the schedules, and the normalcy of married life on fire.
But you know what I found when the ashes settled? Me. I’m not anywhere near where I want to be but I’m so much farther than where I was. And that matters. I am miles ahead of Emma from one year ago.
Thirty year old Emma was terrified and stuck. Thirty-one year old Emma found the spark deep inside her and used it to engulf her entire being in flames. Thirty-two year old Emma will know what she wants. She will not settle. She will not lie to herself. If she finds herself backsliding, she will know how to set her life on fire and start over. Again. And again. And however many times she needs to until she gets it right.
So that’s the first lesson I want to share. Not happy? Feel stuck? Want a fresh start? Don’t be afraid to set it all on fire.
Warming Up 