All my life, I’ve struggled with being on my own. I don’t think this is a unique experience for a girl my age. We’ve always been taught that we needed a man to save us. A little bit of Disney goes a really long way when you’re in your formative years. That Cinderella Complex sticks with you as you grow up. For me, it’s not even an unconscious desire to be taken care of. I’m completely aware of the fact that I think I need a man in my life to take care of me. Not financially. But for all the other stuff. The little things, of course, but the bigger picture is what matters most to me. I crave a partner.
This craving for a partner is what gets me into trouble with myself. Lately, I’ve been in a constant state of disappointment. I gave someone a second chance. I went with my feelings, which isn’t new. I disregarded what my head had to say and went running into the sunset at full speed with my heart. And here I am, disappointed.
So for this summer, I am developing a new mantra. No. Pricks. Allowed. I refuse to give second, third, fourth chances. When a man pisses me off, I’m not going to stand for it. And I will let him know. My expectations will be clearly stated and will be met or BYE. I will no longer make excuses for the men in my life. I will not play second fiddle to ex-wives or video games or golf or basically anything else. What I need, what I crave is someone to be WITH me. Someone to call when my day goes south. Someone to call when my day is perfect. Someone to come to me at the end of the day with full validation that they are mine.
This will be the summer of ME! And so help me Taylor Swift if I allow myself to be disappointed by another man.
Warming Up 